Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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