This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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