let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
