You work out of a Hotel?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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