Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
