Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
