Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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