i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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