We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Enjoy the penises
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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