Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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