I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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