he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just found puke in my bra..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
