so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
