He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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