we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
