That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize