I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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