hotel room ftw
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
