if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
