youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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