Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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