You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
