I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
