she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
