Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
