he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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