Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
