you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
