There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
