Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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