I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
