I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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