I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
