im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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