I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
