Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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