My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
