And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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