the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
