We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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