And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You made out with two different species that night
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
