remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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