Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
