I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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