I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
