i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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