If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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