I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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