He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
