Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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