Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i believe in u and ur pee
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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