I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
