did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize