ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
