Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
