WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
