dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
