Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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