Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
